EXERCISE

I hope that title didn't scare any of you off.....yea, I know, it's the dreaded 8-letter word!!!

E-X-E-R-C-I-S-E

Trust me when I say this.....but it's not something I do religiously often rarely ever.  So sue me!  I KNOW I need to exercise!  I KNOW it's good for me!  I know!  I know!  I know!  Does jogging in a pool while chatting with your best buddies count?  Does laying on the couch and doing leg stretches count?  Does THINKING about going upstairs and hopping on the recumbent bike or the elliptical trainer count?  Scratch off the elliptical trainer.....forgot that it got fried in the lightning strike.  I've got a mental note happening on a daily basis to move my ass more than I do.....seriously I do.....but making mental notes doesn't burn an ounce of fat!  Then there's my secret weapon.....the ONLY way I get exercise.....and there's not a damn thing I can do to change it.  It definitely qualifies as exercise.....it may not qualify as a competitive sport.....but what it does do.....at least for me.....is get my heart rate up.....I even get to huffing and puffing (but quietly).....and if it's a long round of exercise.....then I may actually break a sweat!  My idea of exercising does get my ass up and moving.....and yes, I mean that I'm in an actual bipedal position.....and those two sticks that I call legs are actually moving.....go figure!!!  I wish I could say that I'm out there enjoying Mother Nature.....just pumping my arms and beboping to the beat of some reggae tune.....but alas.....there's no Mother Nature.....no pumping.....and no beboping to any tune.  The only tool I need for this exercise routine is my Hero.....my big, strong, muscular.....oops.....letting my imagination get away from me.....my Hero.....aka my phone!

So here's what I need.....my legs.....

My Hero.....

A phone call.....

.....and now I go into action.  I WALK.....and WALK.....and WALK even more!  I DON'T stop walking the whole time I'm on the phone!  I DON'T know how to talk on the phone without walking!  Sitting isn't even in the equation!  I walk around and around the kitchen island.....I walk from the kitchen to the dining room......I walk into the office.....I walk to the family room.....I peek out the windows.....and I keep on walking AND talking (and some listening too)!  Most of my phone calls run anywhere from 20 minutes to over an hour.....and yes, I'm walking the WHOLE.DAMN.TIME.  If I sit and try to talk on the phone my fingers go numb (another weird oddity that the docs can't figure out).....I've even tried the Bluetooth (but it's just not the same).....so it's walking and talking!  I beg for anyone to disagree with me that this ISN'T a form of exercise.....if you do decide to disagree with me, than you better watch out for those flying daggers that'll be shooting out of my eyes!

I'm curious, dear friends.....who out there has rather unconventional exercise routines.....or.....better yet.....who has allergies to exercise.....who finds working at the computer good eye/hand coordination (which in many circles WOULD be considered physical AND mental exercise!

So there you go.....I exercise.....albeit unconventional.....but I do have one thing going in my favor.....I've got legs that go all the way up and make a perfect ass out of themselves.....thanks to exercise!!!