Today's soapbox rant will only be understood by those of us of a feminine nature who are of a more distinguished age.....as in our late 40's and plus. My rant is more on the lines of a bad memory that has unfortunately come to the forefront of my cranium. This memory I seriously had forgotten about.....and thankfully so.....but a dear blogger friend, Aunty Pol, made a comment on the thong rant of last week, and brought up this little item that I, and I'm sure millions of other women hated with a passion.....the DREADED SANITARY BELT!!! In last week's rant about the thong.....I said that I NEVER had worn a thong in my life, nor would I wear one EVER. Well, thanks to Aunty Pol and her reminder that the sanitary belt did exist.....I guess I have to admit that I DID wear a quasi-thong once a month for what seemed like days and days and days. This quasi-thong exactly demonstrates how it's current sister thong is terribly nasty on so many levels.....if you're wondering what I'm talking about here.....then take a look at a dirty thong after it's been worn for a day. I should know this.....I did the laundry for a family of five, and one of those kids decided that the thong look was right up her alley - yea right. I know there are going to be some of you who will tell me that the kids should have done their own laundry.....but my philosophy is.....if you want it done right, then you've got to do it yourself.....PLUS.....nothing ticked me off more on those rare occasions when they would do their own laundry, that they more often than not would leave their clothes in the washer till they stink, stank, stunk.....OR.....have a humongous load of now seriously wrinkled clothes in the dryer. Ticked me off.....yes indeedy!!! Anywho.....you're hopefully getting the big picture right about now.....but I digress.....back to this contraption. Who invented this precursor to the thong??? I understand the why.....but for the love of Pete, you had to be a rocket scientist to figure the damn thing out. If I recall correctly.....you took one end and stuck it through the loop.....did a comeback around through the loop.....then gave it a hearty tug making sure it was going to stay put.....THEN.....you had to repeat the whole process over again for the other end.....aye carumba!!! So now you've got everything connected.....and you hope against all odds that the damn thing won't start twisting around your middle.....whereas you would have to do some inconspicuous rearranging. I swear to you.....I'm getting shivers thinking of this thing.....it was evil.....yes, evil incarnate in it's most evilest form!!! So then some woman (I hope) came up with the truly brilliant idea to eliminate the sanitary belt.....clip off those mile long ends.....and slap on a piece of double-sided tape to neatly adhere said pad to said panties (a modern day thong won't work here - HA). On that very day, I am sure women throughout the world held those sanitary belts toward the
Off to search the land for more crap to bitch about!!!
