Power Is Coursing Through My Being

Life as we know it has officially changed here at Coyote Gulch!!!  Let me go back and give you a bit of history before I tell you about this life-changing event.  As most of you are aware.....we have 3 dogs monsters who reside with us at the Gulch.....and that's not including the Bitch Monster Boy, and 9 freakishly oversized fish.  Currently at the Gulch, there is a pack of rodent dogs who live directly behind us.....these are of the rat-sized variety.....you know the kind.....the ones that have those high-pitched yips.  The Big Boober calls them yip-yip dogs.  You'd think by now that our 3 monsters were well aware of the rodent dogs living back there.....and would just yawn when they come prancing and yapping into their backyard.....but no.....not our well behaved obnoxious monsters.....they go hog wild.....as in contorting their bodies into red-eyed demon dogs.....and scratching and gnawing the fence till it's a toothpick of its former self.  You'd think that 3 monsters going ballistic was bad enough.....but we have 1 monster that's worse than the other two......he is Satan incarnate!  I swear on the holy bible that Mo actually has eyes that turn red.....hence his nickname.....Demon Dog.  When the rodent dogs come a callin' at the back fence.....ol' Mo gets his panties all tied up in a knot trying to get at them.  It gets to the point where no amount of yelling at the top of your lungs gets this boy's attention!  For about a year now I've been formulating a plan on subtly getting our monsters to pay attention to me without doing any of them bodily harm, when I say.....GET.IN.THIS.HOUSE.RIGHT.NOW (with emphasis on NOW).....and them knowing that I mean business.  So today was THAT day.....the day to put into action my sneaky plan to get the monsters to give the rodent dogs a break.  I have OFFICIALLY taken back my power.....I am now the Master of the Universe Gulch!!!  Give me a weapon and let me at 'em!!!  I'd like to introduce you to the 2010 Model Super Soaker RATTLER!!!  I swear to you on a stack of bibles that I cackled when I was locked and loaded.....I roared like a woman with a purpose.....I AM THE MASTER!!!  I am so ready for battle.....and I SHALL conquer!

No animals were or will be injured in this War of Supreme Power!!!