It's official.....my standing as a farmer wannabe is wavering rapidly. I had LOTS of good intentions with this year's crop.....so here's a run-down of what's been happening at Green Acres.....
- I planted a couple of stalks of corn.....more on that later.
- I planted two batches of green onions.....let's see - 3 weeks later - not nary a plant.
- I did the Topsy Turvy tomato thing.....the flowers go from yellow to dead.....absolutely pitiful.
- Got sick and tired of the pitiful Topsy Turvy tomato plant.....so went conventional, and planted a new plant in a pot.....still hopeful.
- Basil in a pot.....growing like a bat out of hell. Haven't used it yet.....smells great though.
- Jalapenos.....they's a growin'.
- Bell Peppers.....got a baby growing.....still keeping fingers crossed that more will spring forth from its tender loins.
- My pride and joy.....3 pyramids FULL of green beans.....have eaten two batches - damn tasty (these are from the Survival Seed packet I received from Hometown Seeds).
- The peach tree.....poor baby.....it's so chock-a-block full of peaches that the damn branches are breaking off! Will we be eating any? I think not.
At the time it was VERY promising.....heck.....it was STILL promising as of a few days ago. The Big Boober did the groundwork for me, and informed yours truly that the corn is done growing when the silk turns brown, and the ear of corn starts to bend away from it's mother.....kind of like a rebellious teenager! Then my mother-in-law informed us that said corn plants of the sugar variety (which those little guys up above are) grow small ears.....but are super sweet. So the silks were brown.....the ears were a leanin' away from mama.....and they were just screaming to be picked.....and pick them I did.....all 6 of them. I brought those babies inside, and lovingly set them in the sink (just in case there were bugs in them - another tidbit my mother-in-law shared with us). The Big Boober asked what I had planned for them.....and I said, "patience, Luke".....sorry.....Star Wars moment there. What I said was, "just leave 'em be, and I'll do something with them tomorrow." Tomorrow arrived.....and the moment was before me.....I shucked one.....said a few expletive deletives.....
shucked another.....spewed forth more nasty comments.....
and then I was done.....and this was my hot damn crop of corn.....
Those ears of corn look like pimples on a teenage boy's ass!!! Don't ask me where that Anne-ism came from.....my head is just busting with crap like that! So there you have it.....my 2010 bumper crop of corn! Take notice of the mutant baby.....just two lousy kernels! At that point, I threw caution to the wind, and decided to taste one of the kernels. Please take note.....that was the tastiest kernel that's ever passed through my lips! So I ate all the kernels off of the one up there on the left.....and being the good wife that I am.....I let the Big Boober partake of this culinary delight from the remaining ears.
Being one to always see the glass as half full.....I found that there is an upside to this misadventure.....I can grow the tastiest crop of midget corn in the land.....but in the same breath.....it kinda sucks being a corn stalk here at the Gulch.....you have no chance in hell of growing up to be a bad boy.
Not to let this misadventure get me down.....I'd like to share with you my bean crop.....introducing the mother of all green beans in beandom.....
Aren't they beauts! That's what Jack was talking about when he climbed that beanstalk! These guys are taller than me with my arm stretched above my head.....and we're talking TALL! Like to see a picture of what these babies gave me.....make sure you hold a towel under your chin from all the drooling you're about to experience.....
For those of you who are wondering.....yes, I've watered diligently.....my $74 water bill backs that statement up. No, I didn't use chemicals.....with 3 dogs that's a bad idea. There were NO buggies.....I despise the little buggers. Did they get the right amount of sun.....the plant grew, didn't it.....it's just the ears that decided to ride the short bus.
I can't believe I even said this.....but I told the Big Boober that I was going to try growing corn again next year. Please, someone, slap me upside the head!
I really need to start pushing the Big Boober into seriously thinking about moving on up to a deluxe apartment in the sky (name that TV show)!!!
