I guess it's safe to say that I'm on the mend, because I'm ready to step up onto my soapbox for my most current rant.....muffins.....better known as faux boobies! Everywhere you look these days women are sporting bolt-ons like it's no big deal. The deal is.....if you're going to enhance yourself.....for the love of jiminy.....get some that don't look like a couple of over-sized muffins that were just slapped on your chest.....how natural can that be! Now I'm not talking about women who have implants because of reconstructive surgery for medical issues.....but for those gals who just WANT them BECAUSE.....or those who have such low self-esteem issues, that they try and fix everything on the outside, and neglect where the real problem lies - from within. I'm sorry to say.....but in about 90% of the cases, you can spot a pair of knockers that came from Ye Ol' Shoppe O' Boobies.....there's just something so au-not-naturale about them. Like that tell-tale ridge.....hence the muffin look.....plus, they usually just make the poor gal look like she's going to topple forward from the effort of holding them up. Here's a few examples of what I'm getting at here.....
Now ladies.....for those of us who have decided that what the Good Lawd Above gave us is okie dokie.....have you ever.....and I mean ever.....had that ridge where it goes from your chest, takes a 90° turn, and then morphs into something akin to a basketball? Natural looking.....I think not.....
Not only do these muffins look slapped on.....but they are dangerously close to the sides of this poor gal's body.....and what's with the huge space between said muffins! Attractive.....I think not.....
All I can say about this set of knockers.....who's up for a water balloon fight!!!
¡Ay, caramba!.....attack of the killer sno-cones!!! These puppies could take an eye out.....
Then the worst of all.....these muffins are so chillingly not real.....
People.....I'm not the least bit prejudiced against boobs.....in fact.....I've got my own personal set.....made from scratch too! It's just if you're going to pay an arm, a leg, and your right butt cheek for a set of store-bought boobies.....then find a pair that looks like the real deal! There's nothing worse than prancing around thinking you're sh*t on a stick.....when everyone can clearly see that you've got fake tatas. Correct me if I'm wrong here.....but if you're going to spend that kind of $$$.....wouldn't you want the final product to look like it's a part of you? Back to my earlier comment about the low self-esteem issue.....I know several people who've had boob jobs.....and three of them I can safely say had the inserts done thinking that would make everything all better.....unfortunately, the money would have been better spent seeing a therapist rather than seeing the Muffin Man. Oh well.....what's a soapbox ranter to do! Till next time.....
Too funny! I think that if you're one of those gals that got the -A's from the Good Lawd, go and have some B's put in. But if you're a healthly B or C, leave them alone....unless, and I do know of a case, they are uneven to the point of everyone can tell. Get 'em fixed, I say. But the Muffin boobies, they really don't seem to do what women thing they'll do. However, they will get more dates. Men will always be men.
ReplyDeleteLOL!!! I love it! Thanks for posting on this topic. Too true in our society.
ReplyDeleteLOL! I agree. I (and most men I know) would rather have the made from scratch variety!
ReplyDeleteok, I'm sitting at my desk about to wet my pants!! You are so right...why would anyone want to carry those around all day? I for one, would love to have the opposite done to mine! Alright, I have to move on to another post...people are starting to stare
ReplyDeleteOh, you make me laugh!
ReplyDeleteAnd as far as men liking those~a friend of mine (who has been something of a dog so I guess he'd know) said that they aren't nearly as fun to touch because they aren't soft!
As a guy I say, "who cares!" Eviscerate me if you like, but I won't apologize for liking what I like. BTW, who made you queen be of the century judging those who may want a set of "bolt ons" as having low self esteem? How about actually doing something world changing with your blog/forum, instead of that other thing women do: whine about everything. Ahhhhh, I can hear the knives being sharpened now!
ReplyDeleteI'm not a fan of folks who comment behind the veil of anonymity, but I decided to add this particular comment, because I felt that I needed to respond myself. So here's my additional 2¢ worth...
ReplyDeleteI truly appreciate your comments. In fact, if you’ve read enough of my blog you’ll know that my nickname for my husband is The Big Boober…because he’s a huge fan of boobs. I support women who have breast reconstructive surgery as a result of having a mastectomy, but, I also know women, and yes, men, who spend thousands at the plastic surgeon for changing the exterior of their bodies, when what they really need to look at is their low self-esteem, and work on that first. I also appreciate your suggestion about doing something world changing with my blog, but in all honesty, it’s a humble little blog where I can share my recipes, crafts, and a bitch or two. That’s all it is, and all it will ever be. May I ask you a question? Do you have a blog that you can share with me. I’m curious to know what else you have to moan, groan, bitch, or complain about. Have a spectacular day!