Yesterday for the mini Super Bowl party at the Gulch, I decided to redeem myself for the recent failure I had in the kitchen. Everything on the menu I've made many times over.....no room for error.....easy as snap! My best gal pal.....the Incredible Miss M.....had a girl's day out with her Bebop.....part of our grand adventure was a trip to the grocery store to buy a few items for Super Bowl.....smarty pants here even had her ALWAYS trusty list (I'm rather anal that way about having lists for everything).....so there we were at the store picking up this and that.....no problem, because I had THE list! After several stops about town.....the little one was getting a tad bit tired.....knowing that I had ticked off everything on the list.....it was safe to go home. Being one for getting all my ingredients set out ahead of time (anal again).....I came to the very quick conclusion that I had NO Rotel!!! It WAS on the list......but the hunt for taquitos blinded me from reading that oh so important ingredient. DAMN.....DAMN.....DAMN!!! I quick thought out my options......ask the Big Boober to pick it up on his way home from work.....not a good idea, because he's surely going to be tired and ready for Super Bowl.....pack up the little one and head back to the store.....bad idea, because she's enjoying playing and not being in the Transformer (aka the Avalanche).....or Google "Rotel clone recipe".....guess which one won out.....the clone! Long story short.....I found a recipe where I could use a can of petite diced tomatoes + 2-3 jalapenos + salt and pepper = Rotel clone. Lucky me I happened to have some homegrown jalapenos in the freezer. Remember my little episode with the
Lemon Soufflé Tart the other day? Well, same thing happening here.....that should have been my first sign! Once the jalapenos thawed out, I set about making the Rotel clone.....I put the tomatoes in the blender, and gave it a whir.....I added the jalapenos.....then I started feeling the burn.....I start hacking up a lung and a half.....my eyes start watering.....the mascara started creeping down the side of my face.....my fingertips are on fire.....and I think.....holy mother of gawd.....it's THOSE peppers......remember
the most miserable two hours of my life episode.....well, this was Part 2. I can't believe that I had 3 of those stinkin' peppers left.....and as gawd is my witness.....I used ever lovin' one of them in the Rotel clone recipe. Let's just say that there wasn't a damn thing that I could do about it but to just do it.....whip up some queso with the Rotel "ultra hot" clone! Two pounds of Velveeta didn't put one iota of a dent in the heat factor.....so I added half a tub of 'whipped' cream cheese hoping it might put the kabash on the fire.....this was sign #2! Did you realize that it takes a butt-load of time for 'whipped' cream cheese to melt.....again, as gawd is my witness.....'whipped' cream cheese has a very.....slow.....melt.....factor. Thankfully, it cut the heat a tad.....enough for the Big Boober to be in queso happy heaven. If there's an upside to this mishap.....it made for the fluffiest queso I've ever had! I'm starting to wonder if I should take a sabbatical from cooking to realign all the knobs and dials in my brain.....because these cooking mishaps are really ticking me off. Hmmm.....I think not.....I WILL conquer in the kitchen come hell or high water.....but first let me collect the lung and a half off of the kitchen floor!
Bon Appétit!!!
